Mary Dolly Kyrie the Punished, excerpt

Perhaps some of you diligent readers will recall that I wrote a play a while back, called Mary Dolly Kyrie the Punished.  I posted a cover letter that I sent with the play to try to get it produced.  

Well, it's getting performed next weekend!  Not because of the cover letter--those people didn't want it.  But UW-Parkside sure does, possibly because they commissioned it.  I'm all sorts of excited to see it, so come out to Studio A of the Rita Tallent Picken Regional Center for Arts and Humanities at UWP on Friday & Saturday at 7:30, or Sunday at 2:00.  You may just see me there!  

(don't bet on Friday night.  Smart money's on Saturday.  We'll see about Sunday)

Also, here's an excerpt to whet your appetite:  

BETH:  I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea. Because I’m a rebel, not a lesson-learner. The only lesson I wanna learn ya is that being free and in a car is the best thing ever, and bein’ rule-abidin’ and stuck up is for squares.

MARY DOLLY KYRIE:  (Pause.)  You’ve made your point.

BETH:  Well. Good. That’s why I yelled it.

MARY DOLLY KYRIE:  It worked.

BETH:  I’m glad. (Looks out past Mary Dolly Kyrie. Shudders and looks away.) That grass is greener shit is shit if I have any say in it and I do. Can’t look at What’s Out There and not think that maybe we have the greenest grass they ever was. I mean, look at What’s Out There. I know they say’s you see What’s Out There different than the rest of us, and maybe that makes our grass a little less green or something. But I don’t see nothing that doesn’t make me want to get in a car and just start driving.

MARY DOLLY KYRIE:  You’ve made your point, Beth.

BETH:  I can talk about something else if that’s what you think is best.

MARY DOLLY KYRIE:  I do.

BETH:  I just—been out here with you how many nights now. Run out of things to talk about. So I just. I just. One more reason to have Ricky come on out here with you. I’ve spent enough time with you holdin’ the fence.

MARY DOLLY KYRIE:  Agreed.

BETH:  Soooooooooooo… oh, I been wonderin’ about whether or not this is true. Who is it named you, Mary Dolly Kyrie?

MARY DOLLY KYRIE:  What’s Out There did.

BETH:  (Hesitantly.)  And what about your title?

MARY DOLLY KYRIE:  What’s Out There likes hearing you say the title.

BETH:  Shit it do? Don’t fuck with me about a thing like that.

MARY DOLLY KYRIE:  Never gets tired of it.

BETH:  Shit. Well, um… should I rephrase the whole question, then?

MARY DOLLY KYRIE:  Yes.

BETH:  All right. Mary Dolly Kyrie, where did… wait, I can’t start the question with your name and then say it again at the end, can I?

MARY DOLLY KYRIE:  You shouldn’t.

BETH:  That’s what I thought. All right then. So, who is it named you Mary Dolly Kyrie the Punished?

MARY DOLLY KYRIE:  What’s Out There did.

BETH:  Well, shiiiiiit. I s’pose no one in their right mind would name a girl Mary Dolly Kyrie the Punished, least not anyone in their right mind that I know. (BETH looks out past MARY DOLLY KYRIE.) Still. That’s a little damn creepy from my way of thinking. (Yells.) Not to offend, or anything! (Whispers.) What’s Out There right now, Mary Dolly? Mary Dolly?