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At Probably Entertainment, we don't only make games. 

We write random bullshit and create awesome bullshit.  We'll post it all here for your enjoyment, so let us know what you like--we'll make more of it if you tell us to! 

 

Thursday
Aug302012

More Betaphors!  

Without too much adieu, these are maybe related to the same "plot" as the other Betaphors, and maybe not.  This whole "throughline" thing is new for me, so don't get too caught up in the lack of continuity.  

Adieu over.  

 

Your job is like Starcraft

It's easy—you start out with four dudes called SCVs (which is an acronym for Space... um... CVs), and you tell them to go over to those blue things and bring some back.  You need lots and lots of blue things, because that's what you use to make your army.  

The SCVs bring back blue things, and you get to make a barracks, which lets you train drug addicts how to shoot guns.  

Your opponent is doing the exact same thing—getting blue things, training druggies.  Still got it?  Super simple.  And your army of junkies gets to shoot all of the other guy's junkies, because THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE ALIENS YET.  

Out of that same building, you can make criminals with flamethrowers, and psychic spies with nukes, and narcs.  Or medics, or whatever they are.  They're the only women.  

BEST GAME EVER SEXY NURSES.  

Still following me?  You can make all four of those troops out of the same building, and all four of them make up a kick-ass army made for killing your opponent's pansy bitches. 

That's pretty much how everything works—your SCVs bring back blue things (and green gas, which is just like blue things only better), and then you build an army out of your other buildings.  Barracks make druggies and narcs, factories make tanks and hover bikes and FUCKING MECHS, and your starport makes sweet figher jets and battlecruisers and science vessels, which let you know where the invisible things are.  

(The fighter jets and nuking spies can go invisible, as can almost all of the ALIENS WHICH IS SO AWESOME)

But that's pretty much it, so I hope you're still following me.  It's really simple.  It's all about bringing back blue and green things, and then making killing things.  

Now, here's where I might lose you—you're not making your fucking awesome army to kill your opponent's army.  Yes, you will slay them all and that shit will be so cool—but the point of your army is actually to kill the opponent's SCVs, because without blue and green things, they can't make an army.  

It doesn't matter that the SCVs show up for work on-time every day, or that they work through lunch, or that they don't use their sick days even though they won't get compensated for them and they fucking asked for that day off and weren't given it anyway goddammit, no.  Clearly that doesn't matter one bit, because while you’re carrying some blue things you still get disemboweled by ALIENS.  

But even that doesn't matter. 

Because your soul has already been ripped out by THE MAN.  

 

 

School is like Megaman. 

You’re some sort of proto-human, and there are eight things you have to conquer before you can become Dr. Wily.  So you plop down at each of these eight things, and you don’t know how you got here, or why if you plopped down HERE you couldn’t just plop down at the END, but you go through all of these steps anyway because it’s supposedly necessary. 

So you’re at the first of these eight things, and once you kill someone, you absorb some part of them and then you’re able to use that skill later on. 

WHICH IS LIKE LEARNING

But you have to know when to use that skill and who to kill with it, which isn’t something they teach you, so it’s trial and error. 

It’s a puzzle. 

It’s a goddamn puzzle. 

That’s all those games are.  Simple, even if frustrating.  Just simple and safe. 

I want to plop down there again.  When did I plop down at the end? 

Why am I not a doctor? 

When I killed him, why didn’t he explode in blinding light?  WHY? 

WHY CAN’T I UNSEE HIS DYING ROBOT FACE?

 

 

Murder confessions are like Megaman. 

You’re a human being. 

Except for the gun at the end of your arm.  That’s new. 

You’re pretty sure, anyway.  You can’t really remember before this moment.  There was just this killer guitar lick, but other than that, all you can remember is the rage. 

So you push A and you jump, and you push B and you shoot. 

Which is not a confession.  This is not a confession.  Megaman is not like murder confessions, let me start over. 

 

I was at home Tuesday night between 8 and 10. 

 

Yes, DR. LIGHT can corroborate my story.  

 

 

Wednesday
Aug012012

Cutscenes—Definition: When you’re watching a game instead of playing it. 

Or, there’s a time and a place for them, and there’s one point in BioShock which wasn’t the time or the place. 

All right, that’s it.  You cannot continue reading without having an amazing moment in BioShock ruined for you.  Only continue reading if you’ve finished BioShock.  Even if you don’t intend on playing it, you’re not allowed to keep reading—instead, go buy BioShock and play it.  It’s way better than this article, anyway.  For those of you continuing on, I hope you enjoy learning about empathetic flow! 

Virtually every modern game flips between two modes: gameplay, which is all of the running, jumping, and shooting that comprises so many games; and cutscenes, which are short scenes that advance the plot or character development, but take most (or all) control away from the player.  Essentially, these cutscenes are short films strewn throughout the game that explain why you’re running/jumping/shooting.  They give the game developers a great deal of cinematic control over the plot—the camera moves around the space as it would in film, and the player has no control over the outcome.  These have all of the benefits of film—devs can control exactly what the player sees, allowing for interesting camera shots; they ensure that no information is unintentionally missed; they control the pacing of the characters’ interactions so that there are no awkward delays during which the player’s character doesn’t do exactly what the devs want him to. 

However, games aren’t films—the key difference is that rascally interaction that makes games so good… and makes cutscenes so tempting when you’re telling a story.  How can you trust players to look where they need to look and have the experience you’ve imagined for them? 

You can’t. 

Fuck!  Shit!  Whateverwillwedo?! 

Just… let the player play the game. 

Irrational did a terrific job of this with most of BioShock—for example, they provided audio logs that fill in much of the backstory of Rapture, the city under the sea in which the game takes place.  While still running and gunning, players learn about the grand intentions of this city: they hear the characters who made Rapture great talk about how amazing it is, and they hear characters’ accounts of how things went so wrong.  Additionally, there are scripted moments in which the player can realize the solution to a puzzle or avoid a trap by paying attention at the right times.  Neither of these take control away from the player; instead, they reward the player for being observant.  More importantly, they make sense within the world of the game. 

The integrity of artistic works rests mostly upon two things: their ability to make an audience feel something, and the means by which they accomplish the first goal.  Generally, a clean and unified delivery does a better job of making an audience feel something.  Every word, moment, camera shot, or note means something vital, and nothing distracts the viewer from what they’re feeling.  This frame of mind is something I’ll call empathetic flow. 

Empathetic flow occurs when you engage completely with an artistic work.  While you are not the character in the book/movie/song/game you’re consuming, you’re completely caught up in the feelings of the character, you’re absorbed by the decisions the character must make, and you believe the consequences of this world: in short, you’re experiencing empathy with the character and you’re not aware of the mechanics of the artwork while feeling that empathy.  Obliviousness to the mechanics is why it’s called empathetic flow; you’re in the zone, and it’s the same zone that gamers experience when playing exceptionally well, or that anyone experiences while doing whatever they do well.  Their focus is complete, time passes by without their awareness… it’s just that the flow they’re experiencing is grounded in emotions. 

Now, what does all of this have to do with BioShock and cutscenes? 

Simple. 

Empathetic flow is why I wish I had gotten to beat Andrew Ryan to death. 

I told you there were spoilers! 

BioShock turns the trope of quest updates on its head by showing players that they’ve played directly into the hands of a brutal criminal by completing every quest they’ve been given (involving no small amount of murder).  Every in-game action the player has taken has been to gain power (fulfilling their power fantasies), but then they’re faced with the realization that they are going to beat someone who (probably) doesn’t deserve it to death.  Bloody pulp.  It’s visceral and disgusting.  It’s shameful and perfect… except for the fact that it’s a cutscene. 

Remember—the term is empathetic flow.  You cannot be aware of the mechanics of the artwork.  The best way to accomplish this is to unify the delivery by eliminating the clutter and awkward transitions that remind the audience they’re viewing something constructed.  Alternating between gameplay and cutscenes increases awareness of the mechanics in a way that’s more apparent in video games than it is in many other forms because of the interactivity of games.  You transition from doing all of the action in the game to watching all of the interaction.  If you don’t notice when that happens, then the game is truly awful—or the cutscene involves interactivity. 

Back to death by bludgeoning: it’s a great moment in the game.  The character questions his humanity and his every impulse as he realizes he was born as a weapon crafted to kill Andrew Ryan. 

But the player?  The player’s just watching that happen. 

How about instead of making me watch, you let me run around the room, think about ways out, be completely unable to find anything else to do, and then eventually, after Andrew Ryan incessantly asks would I kindly kill him do I give in and blunt force trauma him to death. 

Might people decide not to kill Andrew Ryan, and get completely stuck and unable to move forward?  Yeah.  Then it’s okay to force a cutscene… maybe.   

Also, I realize there are time and monetary constraints on any project—as I don’t have intimate knowledge of BioShock’s development cycle or Irrational’s crunch time, it’s hard to say that they didn’t do their best with the resources available.  This is simply my suggestion for how to improve narrative and encourage empathetic flow by eliminating cutscenes and replacing them with interaction—especially for scenes as critical to the narrative of the game as this one was for BioShock. 

Here’s how I would have done it, including all of the solutions for any “but that won’t work!” responses I can anticipate:

Andrew Ryan starts talking to you once his defensive barrier goes down.  Don’t take camera control away from players at this point—let them look at whatever they’d like.  It’s going to be Ryan, since you’ve done a wonderful job of making him the focus of the entire game.  We want to look at him, because we can finally kill him.  We can beat the game (even though we know, thanks to the bathysphere navigation, that there are 3 more sections remaining).  And as the first non-threatening character we interact with face-to-face (aside from Little Sisters, if I’m not mistaken), we’re absolutely gripped by whatever Ryan has to say. 

Ryan talks, explaining what he does in the released version of the game: you’ve been controlled the entire time, you’re not a man, etc.  He clarifies the Would You Kindly idea, we realize that we’ve been controlled the entire time (via the great flashback Irrational provides), and then when Ryan asks would you kindly kill him, a quest update pings, telling you to “Kill Andrew Ryan”.  What made the Would You Kindly realization so amazing was that you’d been strung along the entire game.  You’d done exactly as Atlas had told you to do, and all because of a simple verbal command.  You were a pawn, even in this relatively open environment full of customizable spells and weapons. 

And what accompanied every one of those objectives?  A quest update.  If Irrational had included a quest update at this point in the game (and allowed players to keep control of their actions), it would have solidified the entire experience.  The quest updates aren’t in-game help, kindly guiding you to the next objective and keeping weak little players from getting lost—they’re your brainwashing telling you what to do.  The HUD is no longer an artifice, but a ticking in your brain, a program constantly reminding you of your goals.  You are a machine built to kill Andrew Ryan, and you’ve just been handed a golf club and your brain is commanding you to smash it into Ryan’s brain. 

But what if a player refuses?  What do we do then? 

With every one of Andrew Ryan’s Would You Kindlys, limit player efficacy—but don’t remove their control.  Decrease their movement acceleration, constrict how far away from Ryan they can look, sheathe any other weapons that they choose to draw, and eventually leave the player staring into Ryan’s eyes, unable to move or look away, with only one option left: swing the club. 

But it doesn’t kill him. 

So you have to swing again. 

And again. 

Just to clarify—I don’t want to bludgeon anyone to death with a golf club.  This isn’t a life goal of mine; however, as a thematic experience in the game world, that’s the entire point.  You’ve been bred to do this, and even your deep-seated desire to let this man live can’t keep you from bludgeoning him.  You empathize with the character; as an artist, this is your entire goal, and you didn’t have to take away player control to achieve it.  Well… didn’t entirely take away player control. 

Some constraints will be placed on the player, but they will appear gradually—which I think is the difference.  Interaction is what makes video games a unique art form, which means that we must tinker with how players experience interaction in order to fully realize the potential of games as an art form.  The current model is all or nothing—either players are running/jumping/shooting, or they’re watching.  I’m proposing that we blur those lines by restricting player interactivity when it furthers the themes or plot of the game.  By strategically limiting (or expanding) player options and interaction within a game, we can craft the experiences of players.  We already know that this works in survival-horror games: limit a players’ resources, and you create a terrifying experience.  Amnesia took this a step further by giving players no way to fight back—their only verbs are run and hide.  This created an entirely different experience for players, and I believe it could be done in others games and genres. 

But once again, getting back to bludgeoning a man to death—everything would be paced by the voice actor’s performance.  As Ryan becomes increasingly impatient with the player, the Would You Kindlys come more and more quickly.  A single vocal performance, with the limits on a player’s options increasing with every Would You Kindly.  Players would be able to turn and run from Ryan if they’d like… for about 4 seconds.  With the first Would You Kindly, the camera is pushed back toward Andrew Ryan’s face, and the player is pulled back to a position right in front of Ryan.  He can resist these movements at first—his camera movement and locomotion are stronger than the game’s new forces upon them, but with each Would You Kindly, he becomes less and less able to resist these forces until he’s left with nothing to do but kill Andrew Ryan. 

But what if the player never swings the club? 

Well, a cutscene is the obvious way to force their hand.  However, couldn’t you code it up so that any key input (mouse movement excluded) triggers a weapon swing? Even the Esc key, your only option for saving and quitting, in this moment kills a man. 

Or maybe that’d look like an accident.  Instead, unbind all other keys, leaving the player with only one option.  This gives the sense that the player character truly has been programmed for this moment, and his brainwashing is so powerful that he cannot do anything except kill Ryan. 

It’d be intense.  Or maybe I’m just trying to give a generation of gamers PTSD… not really sure just yet.  But I’d love to try it sometime!

A few more “but I found a loophole” bits come later, but I’d like to first address why this solution feels like the stronger option to me than BioShock’s implemented solution. 

First, the brainwashing.  The idea is that Would You Kindly is such a powerful switch within you that you have no choice but to follow any command that begins with it.  It’s so powerful that you’ve gone through some 15 hours of gameplay without even noticing the phrase, let alone deciding not to accomplish any objectives attached to it.  By taking away all control from players during this moment, you diminish the power of the brainwashing as a narrative device.  It’s strong enough to make you play all of the game preceding it, but it’s not strong enough to make you do something once the player understands what’s been going on?  It’s much more fulfilling to have players actually kill Ryan—even if it involves a couple of hoops—than to relegate it to a cutscene. 

Plus, there’s the issue of revenge.  Obviously, Fontaine’s a terrible man and he should not be in control of the city.  However, once Tenenbaum undoes much of your brainwashing, there’s nothing actually driving you to kill Fontaine.  However, if players were forced to kill Ryan themselves, even when they understood it was an unjust thing to do—now they have motive to finish the game.  Now the continued quest updates are the vengeful ticking in your brain reminding you to seek justice for what Fontaine made you do.  There’s ownership of the act, which is a powerful device for interactive media.  If we can’t make players feel responsible for their actions, what good is this medium for triggering emotional responses from players?  We empathize with characters in other media when they are forced to do something we recognize to be a poor choice, or at least not the best one.  Why do we miss opportunities to do the same when the player is acting as the protagonist? 

This solution also creates a bit more narrative punch to the rest of the game—after experiencing this restriction of options within the game, players are going to be concerned that this can happen to them at any time.  That makes Tenenbaum’s work on you more of a relief, and makes you appreciate her and the Little Sisters even more.  It makes Fontaine’s first attempt to control you after Ryan’s death (his suggestion to go get stepped on by a Big Daddy) and your ability to ignore it even more satisfying—although you were a pawn before, now you’re your own man.  You’ll do as you like. 

Which makes Fontaine’s control over your heart (the reason you lose health during the next section of the game) even more of a bastard move.  You think you’re in control for the first time, but he’s still holding some of the strings—which only amplifies your motivation to seek revenge.  (And actually, I wish they’d done a bit more with this idea—let Fontaine do a few more dastardly things to the player.  Yes, the lack of control over your Plasmids was frustrating and sort of related to the brainwashing thing, but it could have been more so.  Perhaps whenever your Plasmid was changed, you automatically fired one off—meaning you’d sometimes draw the attention of some bloodthirsty splicers and could blame your troubles on Fontaine rather than just using very few Plasmids during that section of the game.  Then, after you find one of the doses of the solution that brings your Plasmids under control, remove the auto-fire component of it to show that you’re gaining back some control—a combination of gameplay reward and fuck you to Fontaine.) 

But this solution only works for a game in which the player character has been brainwashed!  Well… not necessarily.  Constricting options and limiting acceleration and camera movement doesn’t make sense in the real world, unless you explain it was characters being controlled by their emotions (think Brad Pitt during the climax of Se7en)—perhaps this is a new tool for narration within games.  Tint the color palette and limit player options based on the emotional state of the character. 

Maybe.  It seems like something that will take a lot of polishing to work out—players will hate feeling incapable if you weaken them too much due to emotional distress, and they’ll despise it if they don’t empathize with the characters—but improving an art form’s never easy.  

If these proposed changes are an improvement, of course. 

Tell me why they’re not below!  

 

Sunday
Jul292012

Extended Virginity

As a bit of a refresher/recap, this is the prompt for a word problem about my virginity: 

"Assuming there exists a middle-class white chubby kid who got picked on for his receding hairline by age 15, when will Peter lose his virginity? 

Show your work." 

Questions 1-6 and the answers to them appear in the post below; 7 & 8 follow the end of this paragraph.  For those worried about spoilers--there aren't any.  For those that feel bad for me about that--I wish I'd known you in high school.  

 

7)  Given that Peter is now active in theatre, he’s bound to meet some frisky theatre girls,

      right? 


I really did try to join my way into vaginas, didn’t I? 

Bands, plays, Science Team—

Actually, every single one of those illustrates the Saved Game Syndrome with Stacey: 

Band—write songs about how I felt when we broke up. 

Plays—hope things will work themselves out backstage at Christmas Carol. 

Band—write a song about that. 

Science Team—you’ll get the chemistry right, figure out the approach vector, create hypotheses and prove once and for all you’re not saved-game-file-corrupted beyond all hope. 

Or not.  Although props for telling her, eventually, how you felt.  And then giving it that one last swing with the CD including those songs about how you felt. 

And sure you met other theatre girls, friskier ones, but neither of you were all that into each other.  Be honest; you didn’t have anything more in common than sex drives.  Plus, you still had prom to look forward to. 

 

8)  Given that Peter is a Senior and will go to prom, he’s got it made, right? 

      Variable: I mean, everyone has sex at prom, right? 

 

At prom?  No.  But two days later, Carlos laments everyone not getting laid after prom. 

Wait?  Even Carlos? 

Yep.  He spent the night of prom at Anita’s uncle’s house and quote “didn’t want to get axed in half by her uncle”, which, fierce beard that he had, you wouldn’t risk either. 

But here’s how prom happens for you:

You make a list of girls you’re considering asking.  This list is about eight girls long, and includes girls you barely know—so barely know that you aren’t even sure if some of them still live in Racine. 

This is the epitome of high school horniness. 

So, congratulations for reaching that milestone. 

Of those eightish girls, K is not on the list.  Congratulations also on overcoming Saved Game Syndrome. 

So, when K asks if you want to go to prom with her, because prom is about just going with friends, right, you tell her that yes, sort of, except Marisa is cute, and then you learn from K that you aren’t even sure if some of these girls are single. 

You decide to maybe not ask Marisa to prom.  Or Melissa, despite the likely head.  Which is how you end up going to prom with K, at least until she talks to MIT girl about prom and realizes MIT girl is dateless, and then K swaps you for her boyfriend and lets you go with MIT girl.  This all made sense to you in high school. 

Point being, MIT girl is definitely cute.  And MIT-smart.  Yep, available, and doesn’t know you well enough to sleep with you on prom night. 

Or maybe just isn’t into you, since you ask her out over the summer and she says she’s not going to live in Racine anymore.  

Sunday
Jul222012

Virginity Word Problem

Assuming there exists a middle-class white chubby kid who got picked on for his receding hairline by age 15, when will Peter lose his virginity? 

Show your work. 

1)   Given that Peter is age 15 and has low self-esteem, will he touch a girl? 

       Variable: Peter just joined two bands. 

 

This is embarrassing.  And besides, that’s not even why I joined those bands. 

Incorrect.  An additional -5 for lying.  I’m 15-year-old you; I know. 

Come on.  I’m not taking this test. 

So you’re going to fail the first-ever test of your life, then? 

I’m pretty sure that test was losing my virginity. 

So the answer is “Never”?  Goddammit. 

No, it’s… ah, hell. 

Listen.  This is you ten years ago, via comments typed with only one hand, about when goddammit WHEN am I finally going to stop being outside the party and inside the girl.  And you can’t make that happen?

I think it’s you that can’t make it happen. 

So we can skip right to age 16, then? 

We could.  But let’s see how you think this is going to play out. 

Finally.  I’ll repeat the question, but -5 points for disruption. 

 

 

1)   Given that Peter is age 15 and has low self-esteem, will he touch a girl? 

       Variable: Peter just joined two bands. 

 

I was the drummer. 

And back then, I listened to the Dave Matthews Band. 

Everyday. 

Not every single day—their album, Everyday.  Track 5 was my emotional depth. 

Nothing touched me more deeply than that saxophone. 

Therefore, I touched nothing more deeply than a girl’s… um… 

Therefore, I touched nothing about girls at all. 

 

Correct.  But what’s wrong with Dave Matthews? 

 

Give it a couple years. 

 

 

 2)   If Peter forms a third rock band at age 16, will he maybe touch a girl? 

       Variable: this band has girls in it.  Two! 

 

All right.  It’s a given that Nicole was incredibly cute. 

Unfortunately, Alex + Nicole = (Alex and Nicole).  And you knew that.  It wasn’t going to happen. 

So this band may have two girls in it, but you knew all along there was really only one girl in the band for you.  And she played saxophone.  Don’t pretend that you weren’t wandering around the neighborhood with your Discman and Dave Matthews as you walked past her house nights on end. 

I’m not saying it was creepy.  It was teenaged.  You didn’t even know what room was hers, so I know it was just that you were deranged by hormones multiplied by a saxophone, all of which told you this is a good idea.  Unfortunately, what’s actually a good idea is telling a girl how you feel.  And you suck at that. 

Wait, fuck you.  You’re talking about K.  K is the girl that turned me down last year. 

Yeah, sorry about that, dude. 

I’m going to get turned down again?  What am I wasting my time for?  -5 points for wasting my time, ass. 

Hey, man.  Sophomore year, you were in German together, Chem together, Geography Bowl, the musical, and then a band together.  Shit happens. 

I’ll say.  Deal with this question then, cockbag.  BTW, -5 points for being a cockbag. 

Well, wait a year and then give me a Correct on this one, too. 

 

…correct. 

 

 

3)     Given that future Peter is an unforgiveable cockbag, will he ever learn to stop

         prolonging my virginity by continuing to pursue a girl after she’s told him no? 

 

I… maybe. 

For cock’s sake—

Listen, here.  It’s not like it was all about your dick at that point.  You felt things back then, in ways that hurt to even consider at this point. 

What I feel that hurts more than you seem to remember is blue balls. 

Nope, calling bullshit on the whole blue balls thing.  That shit’s not real.  Not for us, at least. 

You won’t let me lay pipe, you won’t let me have blue balls—goddamn.  Just goddamn. 

Yeah.  Don’t call it laying pipe. 

But to answer your question: you treat girls like a saved game.  You figure if they showed interest in you once, it didn’t matter that they always eventually said game over.  You set that girl aside for a while, swearing it’s impossible (or at least not worth the effort), then pick up the game again—you seem to think—from a point at which she will say yes. 

Sorry, dude. 

Fucking fuck.  Okay. 

But let me say that you do stop pursuing K.  Especially after the rest of the band tells you you have to be the one to kick her out of the band, because you’re closest to her. 

Seriously? 

High school’s the best, man. 

 

 

4)     Assuming Peter stops playing video games, will he please maybe fuck someone? 

 

You think you stop playing video games?  You’ve done that shit since you were three. 

Not only are you going to keep playing video games—you’re going to design them one day.  So don’t stop plowing away at Final Fantasy X because you think it’ll improve your chances of some Finally Fantastic XXX—besides, you’ve got to stay ahead of Bill Holmdohl so he’ll keep asking you questions about it. 

About sex? 

Heh.  No. 

Wait.  Fucking Bill Holmdohl has fucking sex before I do? 

I can’t say for sure.  I mean, would you actually ask Bill? 

But almost definitely yes. 

 

 

5)     So should I just chop off my balls right now? 

Yeah, go ahead and explain that ER trip to Mom and Dad. 

 

 

6)     Okay.  So I’m 17 and a Junior.  I’m on the Geography Bowl team, take AP physics, go to

         all the cross country meets but don’t even try running this year, and don’t get my

         driver’s license.  Let’s skip a year, right? 

 

No, actually.  You totally dance with a girl, raging erection and everything and even end up not really being self-conscious about it.  It’s not sex, but you’re unable to stop talking about how awesome the night was while standing outside Katie’s house with Brueggeman, then going home and calling him to talk even more. 

How the fuck. 

And hold on—not self-conscious about the dancing, or the erection? 

Pretty sure both, even if you should have been self-conscious about the dancing.  But we’ll get to that later, I’m willing to bet. 

As for how the fuck, it turns out the rest of your band mates (but especially Nicole) decided to find you a date to Winter Formal, since they were all going.  Nicole finds out Stacey wants to go, but doesn’t have a date. 

Stacey from Chem last year? 

Yep.  She’s the first girl you dance with, boner and all. 

Sorry, Stacey. 

So then we date, right? 

Yeah, for about a month.  But you never kiss her. 

But I bonered her through an entire dance. 

Sure did.  But when you ask her out a week later, there will be this damning moment when she was going to kiss you, and you didn’t realize it, and then you both maneuver, stop, stand there forever in the awkwardness and don’t kiss then or at all.  You have a cold a week later, but really you just don’t have the balls. 

And you lived about two miles apart, and neither of you could drive.  Plus, it was winter.  So you had some fun, but eventually she broke up with you.  Probably over the kissing, maybe because she was interested in someone else—you never find out. 

 

Unflinchingly correct. 

 

 

Tuesday
Jul172012

Lifting things with your mind, game design, and most importantly, Han Solo

I’m a writer, I’m a game designer.  So I’ve done some thinking about narratives within games—how we can improve them, what we can learn from other mediums, what their shortcomings are, etc.  My theorizing’s incomplete, but so is everything.  I'll add to it as we go, refine the ideas, and say incorrect things in public so we can have a conversation and keep moving things forward. 

High-falutin' thoughts complete.  Now for the content:

Modern games with single protagonists are usually power fantasies.  You start as a semi-humble schmuck, you defeat a few goons and gain a few spells/guns/combos, and the game continues on until you’re a semi-uber super-fuck and you defeat the bad guy hiding at the end of the game. 

I’m not entirely complaining about this—power fantasies are great structures for game design.  Players want to be in the zone when playing games.  They want to be challenged, occasionally defeated, but rarely overwhelmed or frustrated.  By giving them a simple challenge, then empowering them and giving them tougher challenges, game designers are able to keep players working at the upper end of their abilities.  This leads to players having fun not despite the difficulties, but because of them. 

Which is great.  From a game design perspective. 

But we all know how this story ends, right?  I mean, I just told you—you gain a bunch of power and crush the baddest motherfucker there ever was beside your bad motherfucking self.  And it feels grrrrrrrreeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat in the most Nutrigrain bar way possible, but it’s kind of fucking boring. 

Where’s the surprise?  It’s just a series of challenges that you overcome through playing a game.  There’s nothing compelling about this narrative for gamers because it’s virtually all we’ve seen for the entire history of gaming.  I know why they use it—it makes sense when you’re trying to keep players in the zone, experiencing flow.  It’s the easiest story to make. 

And I haven’t solved what games should do instead. 

However, I’m a fucking nerd.  So here’s some Star Wars shit to school your ass:

“Put some other goddamned protagonists in your story, game writers!”  --Chewbacca

All incorrect citations aside, this is the main issue I’m going to cover right now.  Countless games are about single protagonists beating the shit out of bad guys—God of War, that one about the treasure hunter, and a few about that guy in space, plus anything I can think of in first-person—they’re all about one dude.  You are the one dude who is going to save everything, because only you can.  Therefore, we’re going to focus entirely on you.  A large reason for this is that so many games are structured around power fantasies.  We’re not interested in the intangible ways that characters change throughout a narrative—we’re interested in how high our stats go and what new spells we can cast to abolish foes.  Undoubtedly, this is a great system for creating engaging gameplay—people like to feel that their time is being invested, not wasted—but there’s nothing keeping game companies from designing multiple protagonist story lines, and most importantly, allowing players to play as multiple protagonists. 

Enter Luke Skywalker from The Empire Strikes Back

In case you don’t recall, Luke spends the entire movie doing two things: not noticing wampas, and going to school. 

Yeah, good luck making the third movie in your trilogy with that shit-ass plot. 

Enter Han and Leia from The Empire Strikes Back to make my point. 

Multiple protagonists = multiple story arcs = much more depth in your final story.  Star Wars is awesome, but pretty thin if we’re focused only on Luke Skywalker’s journey.  Arguably the best film in the franchise, The Empire Strikes Back is about Luke Skywalker talking to a puppet—and his friends flying through asteroid fields to escape from the Galactic Empire, eventually ending in a city in the clouds where a bounty hunter has planned a trap to capture them—and, and—it involves the treachery of an old friend!  What an awesome story about our other protagonists. 

Games don’t need to forego a central protagonist—Luke still does some awesome shit—but having several characters to bump up the plot and create heightened conflict (and unforeseeable consequences, leading to a surprising conclusion) are one way for games to create much more compelling narratives than they currently create.  Back to Empire—one of the most tense and memorable parts of the film is Luke’s confrontation with Vader, ending with Vader revealing that (spoiler alert!) he is Luke’s father. 

But if Han didn’t know Lando, he wouldn’t have gone to Cloud City, and he wouldn’t have been tortured and frozen in carbonite (all of which is compelling), and if Han didn’t know Luke, Luke never would have gone to Cloud City to confront Vader and appear on Maury.  Luke was sort of near Vader on Hoth, but that happened before his training—so would Vader have even considered offering to take Luke on a Father-Son galaxy-ruling adventure?  Probably not.  Therefore, we would have missed out on the whole choosing-between-good-and-evil bit and the circle-is-now-complete possibility and the realization that our hero is not that strong yet, he should have listened more closely to his master, he’s reckless and young and downright flawed. 

I know!  What a terrible fucking game to play.  You balance some rocks on top of each other while standing upside down while the puppet talks in backwards fucking sentences, and then you “beat the game” by getting your goddamn hand chopped off.  And you don’t even get to bone your sister! 

A couple of responses—first, the gameplay can be framed in such a way that the player still feels like he’s succeeded even when he gets his hand cut off.  If you unsuccessfully fight off Vader, he kills you because you’re not worthy of joining him to overthrow the Emperor.  The Emperor’s a badass too, and Vader isn’t going to try shit against him if Luke’s a pansy—so he’ll kill you if you suck at the game. 

Secondly—Empire would be a terrible movie if the franchise ended there!  Duh.  They knew there was going to be another movie.  That’s the movie where the power fantasy gets fulfilled, the bad guy gets offed, and everything’s super-duper.  I think we can produce narratives that end in relative defeat for our protagonists, especially if this is the second or third game in a franchise (and we don’t have to end on a Hollywood up-note to be deemed “not a bummer” and get a chance at making a sequel). 

Plus, there are narratives in which the protagonists accomplish the goal they set out to accomplish, but it doesn’t solve their problems.  While I haven’t played Gears of War 2, I know you’re on a quest to find Dom’s wife.  (SCHPOILERS!!!)  When you get to her at the end, she’s a monster, a shell of who she once was.  So why not set up that game as a “we have to go the big bad guy’s house and kill him so I get my wife back” narrative, let people kill the big bad guy, and find a let-down of a wife at the end?  Power fantasy fulfilled—but for what purpose?  All this power… doesn’t change everything?  What a revelation. 

And then burn down the big bad guy’s house for shits and giggles. 

And set up how you need to… kill bigger bad guy?  Find cure for wife?  Keep this from happening to other people?  …in the sequel, then start work on the sequel. 

Now, I’ll grant you that this blog was essentially stitched together from some ramblings I had, and that I wish it were better.  However, now you have something to comment on!  So have at. 

(and in case you still don’t get it, watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6rE0EakhG8)