I introduced the game Arrogance a couple weeks back as the first game Jacob and I worked on. It's a real-time strategy game in a world where arrogance has become tangible, and people are capable of whatever they're arrogant enough to believe they can do. If you want to read the pitch for the game first, you can find it here. Otherwise, continue reading the first level. It's meant to introduce players to the world of the game, to introduce them to real-time strategy games in case they're new to the genre, and to keep the first level from being ungodly boring for anyone familiar RTS games.
Competition One: LET’S GO, RAGNAROK HIGH!!!
Some terminology:
CUTSCENES occur outside of gameplay, taking camera control from the player.
VOICEOVERS occur during gameplay. As necessary, portraits of additional speaking characters are shown on the left side of the screen.
TITLE OVER means text appears on the screen as a message to players.
INT. LOCKER ROOM – DAY
CUTSCENE: THE COACH, a roid-raging high school gym teacher, paces manically before speaking.
THE COACH: Team! We gotta go beat that other team!
TITLE OVER:
Beat the other team in a race!
THE COACH (CONT’D): Team? Where are you? Shit I don’t have a team.
TITLE OVER:
Beat the other team in a race!
Find a team!
THEN beat the other team in a race!
EXT. LOCKER ROOM – DAY
CUTSCENE: the Coach addresses five pathetic WATER BOYS. Water boys lack the muscle mass to join the AV club, let alone play sports. Their voices screech and their self-esteem can’t drop any lower. A JUNK PILE towers behind them.
THE COACH: Hey! Fuck faces! I need to form a sprinting team!
WATER BOY #1: You want us to run?
THE COACH: No! You’re worthless! I want you to dig through the garbage!
WATER BOY #2: Why are we digging through the trash?
THE COACH: We need uniforms! And batons!
WATER BOY #3: Can’t we just buy some?
THE COACH: We’re a public school! We don’t have any funding!
WATER BOY #4: But, but, wouldn’t someone have to throw those away in order for us to find them?
THE COACH: Let me explain this as clearly as I can. (pause) FUCK YOU! (long pause) If there weren’t uniforms and batons in that Junk Pile, then why would it be here? Now get to work!
TITLE OVER:
Click on your Water Boys, then right-click on the Junk Pile to collect junk.
EXT. JUNK PILE – DAY
VOICEOVER: the Water Boys start collecting junk and returning it to the Locker Room.
THE COACH: What? Where is our gym?
WATER BOY #1: We… don’t have one.
THE COACH: Dammit! That’s what’s wrong with education—everyone knows you need to learn how to walk before you can run. And you need to make people run for their lives before you can learn anything!
WATER BOY #2: What?
WATER BOY #3: They never taught us that.
THE COACH: Exactly! Because you don’t have a gym! Grab some more junk and then build me a gym!
WATER BOY #2: But… how do we…
THE COACH: Just do it!
TITLE OVER:
Command a Water Boy to build a gym once you have 150 junk.
EXT. JUNK PILE – DAY
VOICEOVER: the Water Boys continue to collect junk.
WATER BOY #1: Is he even a teacher here?
WATER BOY #2: I don’t remember him.
WATER BOY #3: He made me pee my pants.
WATER BOY #1: I thought that was me.
WATER BOY #3: Sorry. It splashes more when I’m intimidated.
WATER BOY #4: All I know is that people who yell at me are usually right.
WATER BOY #3: Yeah, he seems pretty sure he’s a teacher, so I think I believe him.
The other Water Boys murmur their assent.
WATER BOY #1: I know he said there were uniforms and batons in here, but has anyone found any two by fours? Or blueprints?
WATER BOY #2: I failed woodshop, and even I know this isn’t where buildings come from.
THE COACH: I’m an expert on this kind of thing—I’m a health teacher!
WATER BOY #1: Oh no, you’re still here? When did you start listening to us?
THE COACH: Never!
EXT. JUNK PILE – DAY
VOICEOVER: after the Water Boys have collected 150 junk.
THE COACH: Finally! Now, build a gym!
WATER BOY #1: You do it, Steve!
WATER BOY #2: I don’t think I know how.
THE COACH: Just click on the buttons! And put it there, by the Locker Room!
EXT. JUNK PILE – DAY
VOICEOVER: a Water Boy starts to build a gym.
WATER BOY #2: Where did this foundation come from?
THE COACH: You found it in the junk! That’s why it’s called a foundation! I should know, I’m a word teacher! Now, keep building!
WATER BOY #2: But… it’s all garbage.
THE COACH: They’re just prefabricated materials! Quit making excuses and start making walls!
WATER BOY #2: Don’t I need a building permit?
THE COACH: A permit? I already told you to build it!
WATER BOY #2: …what?
THE COACH: I think it’s in the junk. Steve, find it for me in the junk pile!
WATER BOY #2: But… I’m Steve.
THE COACH: (indicating Water Boy #1) No, he’s Steve! You’re Jim, because I’m telling you how to build the gym. Because I’m a Jim teacher! What don’t you understand about this?
WATER BOY #2: Everything.
THE COACH: That’s why we’re building a gym!
EXT. GYM – DAY
VOICEOVER: Water Boy #2 just finished building the gym.
THE COACH: Great work, Jim! You earn an A for it looks like shit!
WATER BOY #2: I did my best.
THE COACH: You’re worthless!
WATER BOY #4: He’s yelling, so I think he’s right, Jim.
WATER BOY #2: I know.
THE COACH: But where are my Sprinters?
WATER BOY #1: We don’t know.
THE COACH: Make some! Click on the building and make me Sprinters!
WATER BOY #2: How do we click?
THE COACH: Not you! You need to keep collecting junk! Otherwise how will we ever be able to make all of the Sprinters we need for my team?
WATER BOY #1: So who is clicking?
THE COACH: It’s not important! But whoever it is better click on the gym, and then click on the Sprinter button. I’m talking to you!
WATER BOY #1: I thought you weren’t—
THE COACH: I’m not talking to you!
EXT. GYM – DAY
VOICEOVER: after training, the first SPRINTER appears outside the gym. Sprinters are short, wiry, and especially fiery after consuming arrogance.
SPRINTER #1: Yeah Coach, come on, let’s go let’s go!
WATER BOY #1: But… where did that guy come from?
THE COACH: What? It’s a building—there are always people in buildings! Where else would they come from? Didn’t you pay any attention in health class?
WATER BOY #2: Actually, I think I pulled him out of the trash.
THE COACH: What a go-getter! Now, go get me more!
TITLE OVER:
Train three more Sprinters.
EXT. JUNK PILE – DAY
VOICEOVER: Sprinter #1 watches the Water Boys working.
SPRINTER #1: What’re you punks up to?
WATER BOY #1: We’re carrying junk back to the Locker Room.
SPRINTER #1: The hell? Why?
WATER BOY #2: Mom says that keeping busy is important.
WATER BOY #3: And the Coach said to do it because we’re worthless.
SPRINTER #1: Huh. Wouldn’t running like that be good training for me? Maybe I’ll help.
THE COACH: (to Sprinter #1) Are they bothering you?
SPRINTER #1: No, I—
THE COACH: (to the Water Boys) Quit ruining my team, momma’s boys!
SPRINTER #1: Coach, can I go running or something? I’m getting ansty as hell just standing around.
THE COACH: No! I have something better in mind, just wait for me to finish training the rest of the team!
EXT. GYM – DAY
VOICEOVER: the fourth Sprinter finishes training and appears outside the gym.
THE COACH: Team! It feels great to finally have someone worthwhile to yell at! (The Sprinters cheer.) But you’re worthless! You need to be faster than the other team, so go running! Over there! (A ping appears in the lower right corner of the minimap.)
SPRINTER #1: Where at, Coach?
THE COACH: I told you already on the minimap! (Another minimap ping.) So go there now!
SPRINTER #2: What’s a minimap?
THE COACH: It’s as useful as clicking! Just go there, to the lower right! (A final minimap ping.)
EXT. ARROGANCE POOL – DAY
CUTSCENE: when the Sprinters reach the site of the minimap ping, they discover an ARROGANCE POOL, a purplish-black morass where liquid arrogance collects. Any sane person would avoid it.
SPRINTER #1: Whoa whoa whoa—what is that? I only got one rule about running, and it’s “never run past anything crackling with energy—especially if it’s a puddle!” I learned my lesson.
THE COACH: Fuck you! That’s just Superade! I already drank buckets of it, it’s fine! Water Boys—collect all that grape Superade and bring it back to the Locker Room!
TITLE OVER:
Collect the Superade. He’s yelling, just do it!
EXT. ARROGANCE POOL – DAY
VOICEOVER: the fifth Water Boy harvests “grape Superade” from the Arrogance Pool.
WATER BOY #3: This doesn’t taste like grape… this tastes like Armageddon.
THE COACH: Why are you drinking it? That’s for the real athletes! Just for that, build me a Swoll-Mart!
WATER BOY #3: A Swoll-Mart?
THE COACH: Yeah, a Swoll-Mart! “Swoll-Mart—where everyone is down to flex!”
WATER BOY #3: Don’t we need franchising rights?
THE COACH: Why wouldn’t I have some? Now, build it for me, Martin!
WATER BOY #2: I think he means you, Tom.
THE COACH: Yeah, you, Martin! Build me a Swoll-Mart! Right next to where Jim put the gym!
TITLE OVER:
Build a Swoll-Mart near the gym.
THE COACH (CONT’D): Once you’re done, we can make our Sprinters into real athletes, thanks to all this Superade!
EXT. SWOLL-MART – DAY
VOICEOVER: the Water Boys have collected 100 Arrogance and completed the Swoll-Mart.
THE COACH: Now, by clicking on the Swoll-Mart and then on the button for “Flexing”, we can make real athletes out of you!
SPRINTER #1: So this is gonna make us even faster?
THE COACH: Of course not! But you’ll feel unstoppable!
SPRINTER #2: That sounds like the same thing.
THE COACH: It isn’t! It’s even better.
EXT. SWOLL-MART - DAY
VOICEOVER: the Sprinters wait for the upgrade to finish. Note—the Flexing upgrade increases the Sprinters’ attack damage.
SPRINTER #1: Come on, let’s get going already!
THE COACH: It’s already going! Let the Superade do its work.
SPRINTER #1: So… we can just stand around and get stronger?
THE COACH: Of course! Haven’t you ever heard of electrolytes?
SPRINTER #2: I don’t think this shit is working.
THE COACH: Then drink more! And give me some!
EXT. ARROGANCE POOL – DAY
CUTSCENE: once the Flexing upgrade is complete, the Coach and his team of Sprinters drink cup after cup of arrogance.
THE COACH: Drink it all! Drink to sports, and muscles, and 110%! Drink to the god of winning!
SPRINTER #1: You mean Nike?
THE COACH: No! It’s me! I’m gonna make you the best team that’s ever lived! Don’t you feel it?
SPRINTER #3: I think I’m starting to feel it, yeah!
SPRINTER #4: It feels like I could… like I could run right up to someone and rip out their throat!
SPRINTER #2: It feels like I could have a throat-ripping race!
SPRINTER #1: I feel like I could attack Russia in the dead of winter.
THE COACH: Then do it! Make those pansies see red!
EXT. RACE TRACK – DAY
CUTSCENE: the Sprinters and OPPOSING SPRINTERS are positioned for a 4 x 100 race. The Opposing Sprinters are much tamer than your Sprinters, who flex incessantly.
THE COACH: Remember—all that matters is winning! No matter what, beat the other team!
TITLE OVER:
Beat the other team.
The first runners drop into starting positions, and tense for the starter pistol. Your Sprinter stands up and flexes as the starter pistol FIRES. Both runners take off—but your team is clearly losing.
THE COACH (CONT’D): Dammit! I knew this would happen! I didn’t train you guys for 30 seconds—each!—just to have you lose!
SPRINTER #1: (out of breath) Why… did you… make me… lift weights?
Sprinter #1 hands the baton to Sprinter #2.
SPRINTER #2: (out of breath) And why… did you make me… karate chop cinder blocks? That hurt, broseph!
Sprinter #2 hands the baton to Sprinter #3.
SPRINTER #3: (out of breath) Math… seriously?
Sprinter #3 throws the baton to Sprinter #4.
SPRINTER #4: (out of breath) You scowled… the whole time… and kept on saying… fuck you.
The opposing team’s final runner crosses the finish line.
THE COACH: Fuck you… fuck you… fuck you—fuck you—fuck you—I knew I didn’t give you enough Superade! I told you to beat them!
SPRINTER #1: But… they were faster.
THE COACH: TO DEATH!
TITLE OVER:
Beat the other team.
Beat the other team TO DEATH!!!
EXT. RACE TRACK – DAY
VOICEOVER: Continuous. The Opposing Sprinters celebrate their win as the player commands his Sprinters to attack.
THE COACH: Bury them! Alongside your emotions!
OPPOSING SPRINTER #1: Isn’t this against regulations? Ow!
THE COACH: You heard him, team! Regulate those fools!
SPRINTER #1: Their insides taste like that Superade!
THE COACH: Quench your bloodthirst!
OPPOSING SPRINTER #2: Winning made me too tired to run for my young life!
SPRINTER #3: Quite gloating!
SPRINTER #4: Yeah, don’t be a sore loser!
SPRINTER #1: See you in hell’s locker room!
OPPOSING SPRINTER #4: We’ll beat you there!
OPPOSING SPRINTER #2: Way to rub it in, Donny! (screams in agony)
EXT. RACE TRACK – DAY
CUTSCENE: after defeating the Opposing Sprinters, the Coach gathers his Sprinters into a huddle.
THE COACH: Congratulations, team! You get an A for assault with a deadly weapon!
The Sprinters cheer and slap each other on the back.
THE COACH (CONT’D): Water Boys, bring us buckets of victory Superade! Drink up, team! Our record is 1-0. Now, let’s make it 2-0 by destroying their whole school!
Sprinters cheer again.
FADE OUT:
End of level.